boredom strikes
my brain is numb
i want to fly
to see the world
through newborn eyes.


ohne dich

since this is my dark blog, i wanted to share this here. this is my favourite rammstein song… so sad actually.


my blou oë traan steeds
oneindige poele van blou
hart lê in vlenters.
ek mag na antwoorde
maar die vrae sterf op my lippe
hoekom is ek nooit genoeg
of hou ek net van die pyn?
sal ek ooit leer of gaan
ek die pyn ‘n laken maak
waarin ek bly?
hoekom moet dit altyd gebeur?
jy is genoeg vir my
jy is al wat ek wil he
todat ek nie meer genoeg vir jou is nie
(really long ago!)

ich wünsch

ich wünsch dass ich du
nie wieder ansehen
ich wünsch dass du
mich allein soll lassen
ich wünsch dass du
mein herz in ein stuck
zuruck geben sollen.
aber ich wünsch
zu viel und weiβ
dass es nie passiert.
(9 Feb 2004 – this is the only German poem I have ever written)


distorted images
the mirror doesn’t lie
the scale is never wrong
“you should lose weight,
other than that
you’re beautiful.”
hidden sting
“eat what you like
but exercise”
wishful thinking
stretch marks scar my skin
words scar my heart
my mind
my soul
(february 2006)

who am i

its strange when i realise that the person i am when i am home is not me.
the person i am there is who they want me to be.
me is the girl that comes out now and then, she laughs alot and thinks deep things.
she is the gypsy, the dreamer, the fun loving dare devil.

should i unleash her and give her free reign, or leave her locked up just in case…